To my friends, fans, neighbors, relatives, browsers and creditors,

Every month I will be posting a chapter from this book-in-progress-searching-for-a-publisher. These chapters are true tales from my past adventures that caused media attention, ranging from modest articles to Page One headlines. So, read, enjoy and if you have any nasty comments, please keep them to yourself. I intend to live happily ever after with a minimum of negative communications.

All of my zany adventures, using the media as a conduit to the public, have been designed to entertain and educate with allegorical satire as a "weapon of mass deduction." Nothing criminal or physical. Only innovative ideas to provoke laughter and to give people a satisfying kick in the intellect. Because I believe the mind is the last frontier of exploration.

Over the coming months you will read about the following campaigns, chapter by chapter, as I write my definitive autobiography, Abel Raises Cain.

They include:

Super Bowl XVII
So You Want To Make a Movie?
Society for Indecency to Naked Animals
The KKK Symphony Orchestra
Females For Felons
Citizens Against Breastfeeding
Euthanasia Cruises
Landing a Martian in Russia
The School for Panhandlers
My Obituary and Why I Died
The Captain Midnight Hoax
Phil Donahue's Fainting Audience
Selling a Kidney
Even Donald Trump Has Skidmarks
Marriage of Idi Amin to a WASP
Plastic Surgery for Pets


For further information, please contact abelalan2000 - at - yahoo.com.